Duplicity

“Do as Romans when in Rome” – many people have misinterpreted this proverb. They have translated it like, “Behave like a King when you are really a pauper”. No offence to Kings or paupers; it is just a reference.

I find it very absurd and annoying when people pretend. Do not pretend who you are. Not only are you throwing people off from who you really are but you are also paving way for future disappointments.

When you pretend it shows how much you respect yourself. People with low esteem pretend; they consider themselves not worthy of the people and the things in their life. Why else would they pretend?

You look pathetic when you try to pull off that uber-chick and cool-dude attitude when you really are not. Call me caustic, but I am just being plain honest.

Don’t ask “Whaddup?” to your close friend. Ask him/her, “Machi epdi iruka?” or “Donkey, epdi di iruka?” depending on the context. Pretending will make your friend either jolt or bolt; depending on how stupid you sounded. The friend is probably never going to talk to you the same way he or she did in the past. Worst, he/she might never talk to you at all.

While you are so busy pretending to be someone else, you lose your real self along the way. It might get you the temporary attention you want (not need); but it will destroy the permanent relationships you need.

The more you pretend the more frustrated you become with yourself. Moreover, pretending can take its toll on your mental health as well. You should recall the famous Vadivelu dialogue here, “Nanum evlo neram dhan valikadha madhiriye nadikiradhu!”

Remember the people who like the real you are probably the ones who are going to stick to you for a lifetime. However, if you tick them off you are probably never going to get them back.

Do not question the way you are. Accept and cherish it. You will probably be happier than you ever imagined.

P.S.
I wrote this to give vent to my frustration. So people please bear with me for my rudeness!

Hair Cut

One of my friends recently broke up with her boyfriend. She told me that she knew that he was the guy. Still she had to let him go for reasons she will not tell me. Even after the break-up she would not stop talking about him, “He’s funny… A bit weird…” For me it was all blah-blah! I wanted to scream, “You broke-up with the guy, so get over him and quit talking about him!”

After a few months, she realized that she still has not stopped talking about him! She rang me up, “Vithya. I really need to get over this guy. He is not coming back. Unless I get over him, I am going to ruin myself!”

I put on my thinking hat – okay, glasses! Happy? – and started to wonder what she could do. Being the creative and innovative mind that I am, I suggested, “I have a great idea! Do you have a photograph of him?”

Guessing where I am going, she reluctantly added, “Yeah, I do…”

“Great!” I smirked, and continued, “Burn his picture & flush it out the toilet, just like in `Jab We Met`”.

She retorted, “Don’t be a kid, Vithya. I can’t do that!”

“If you can’t; I will do it. You need not do it” I replied coolly.

Irritated by my reply, she added, “Do you even realize that you are talking about MY boyfriend, here?”

“Ex”, I corrected.

“Fine. My Ex! Not yours” she scoffed.

“But he could be My `Future`”, I teased.

She was getting increasingly frustrated with me, and screamed out, “I still like him. God damn it! And you… You do not have the rights to burn him!”

I was waiting for her to admit that she still likes him, and pounced on her, “God damn you! That guy dumped you. Didn’t tell you why he dumped you. He hasn’t called you in over a year. And you still like him? You’re insane.”

I heard her sob at the other end. Realizing she needed to cry and be done with him, I continued, “You know what? Call him. Call him, and call him names. Abuse him; Blame him; Hate him & be done with him. Yes, ‘Jab We Met’ is my inspiration again. But I am not kidding this time!”

“You really think it’ll work?” her voice was coarse, and incoherent.

“Oh Honey! I’m sure it’ll work. Besides, there is nothing a girls’ day-out can’t fix!” I winked.

She laughed too. Nevertheless, I knew it would take time for her to laugh like she always did.

It was not until a week that she dropped by. I do not know whether she abused him or not, but we went shopping the next day and splurged on ourselves. She did a bit of a ramp-walk in one of the stores. We took pictures; went for a picture; somehow landed in a beauty salon.

We both signed up for a facial and pedicure. I kept making stupid jokes throughout. And even informed her about my monkey crush (I am definitely not explaining). She actually opened her eyes and asked, “Really? You did that?”

“Oh, yeah!” I said.

“Unbelievable”, she said and continued her beauty sleep. She was all happy and rosy after the makeover session. In a moment of inspiration, she said, “Cut my hair!”

Ok, remove the quotation marks. She asked the beautician to cut MY hair. “You wanted to burn that hair? Now, I want to cut your hair! Won’t you do it for me?”

And that is how I ended up with this!